Trust me; not

 

Trust?! I really don't understand the meaning of this word...Not anymore! I used to believe that trust, honesty, and all those things people talk about still exist. Yet after being stabbed so hard in the back I TRUST no more...
You'll ask what does this have to do with the GUY, the INTRUDER, or THE GANG. well, it's so related to this issue I can say. when you trust the wrong people or person, this can ruin your life, sabotage your relationships, destroy your friendship and a lot more. I trusted the wrong people so many times. I guess I don't learn my lessons. But now, after being stabbed for a hundred of times, no more trust. I just can't!! I lost faith in everyone. people get mad at me because I don't trust them. I have some thoughts which when I share with others think I maybe me " PSYCOLOGICALLY DISTURBED”. But they don't understand what I have been through. I trusted the GANG and thought that they were good friends then, I discovered the plot they had made to ruin everything and turn my happiness into misery! then I ask myself and wonder why they did so? I never hurt them? never harmed them? was the most faithful and honest friend, so why do this to me?! I guess some people enjoy ruining others’ lives.
another time I trusted two of my friends and thought they were my loyal best friends. they were so loyal, so caring, so loving, so perfect! but I guess perfect means: your dumb enough not to discover you're being fooled. they stabbed me so hard, thought so badly of me, thought that I betrayed them, acted as if they never knew me, did their best to destroy me. talked badly behind my back, destroyed my relationships with many people. Even they seek revenge of me!! I mean seriously?! REVENGE?! what have I done?! yea I remember, one asked me to help her with a guy thing, then he dumped her and asked to be in relation with me and I said NO because I hated him, I only stood there beside her because she asked me. because I thought she was my best friend. you know friends do stuff for others you know!! And I paid the price of my kindness and faithfulness. And the other one knew the truth but didn't speak up. moreover, she supported the idea of avenging of me! thanks people you're so kind. and a lot more, a friend who started being close to me, and I was her role model. then she found out that she can't keep up with me, that I was way better than her in many aspects. so, she couldn't handle it. searched for my mistakes, insulted me, said hurtful words to me. All what I am saying is the crude truth, I swear am not lying. All this actually happened!!  And the last time, but this time I admit it I never trusted them. they asked to be my friends, then started insulting me, talking badly about me, and say it to my face, they talk about people in a dreadful way, mock people, spread rumours, etc....everything bad, they do!! I split from them and I am thankful that I did so. 
ooohhh!! I understand no more... I am so numb! I can no longer understand people?! everyone judges me, no one looks at the mirror to see themselves?! so why me?! is it possible that after all I am the villain?! I am that bad?! I don't know actually! I have been trying to search for the truth for many years........
yet, I FAILED!!